James and Cassandra Rush were spending their Thursday night as many young couples have been spending their nights for the past week, walking around town playing the game “Pokémon Go”.
"Pokémon Go," in case you’ve been in a coma for the last week, is the video game that instantly blew up into a cultural phenomenon, leading players on a scavenger hunt to collect cartoon monsters that pop up on their smartphones. But while they were looking for monsters on their phones, the real monster was closer than they thought.
Local police say that around 2:30 A.M Friday morning James shoved Cassandra in front of an oncoming semi-truck in order to catch a Pikachu before her. James has admitted to the crime and has shown little remorse for his actions.
When asked why he did it, James simply said “That little bitch knew that Pikachu is my favorite Pokémon and she tried to catch it before me.”
Despite what seems to be a clear murder case, leading Dade City official Walter Perryman believes Rush should simply be charged with involuntary manslaughter.
“This young man just wants to be the very best like no one ever was. To catch these Pokémon is his real test but to train them is his cause,” said Perryman. “If we let this man walk he has the chance to do great things in “Pokémon Go” and give this city something to be proud of”, Perryman said.
Stay tuned to The Kumquat for up-to-the-minute coverage on this story.