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Economists Can’t Explain How Captain D’s is Still Open

DADE CITY - Captain D's Seafood on US-301 in Dade City has stayed open for years despite only bringing in a limited amount of customers, leaving many baffled as to how it’s still open.

This seemingly new business model has stunned economists across the country, including world renowned business economist Robert Bergstein.

"I studied the restaurant for a year and in that time I estimate that the business only received an average of 3 consumers per day,” Bergstein said. “This average includes an instance in which a bus of migrant workers broke down on the highway and they all went inside Captain D's until a repairman arrived. This bus was a possible limitation to my study but was accounted for in my multiple regression statistics analysis. They surely would have walked down to Taco Bell if not for inclement weather that had taken place,” he said.

Even after studying the business for a year, Bergstein still couldn't come up with a valid theory to explain what keeps the Dade City Captain D's afloat.

"In all my years of studying businesses I've never seen anything like this. Their EBITA is lower than the average Blockbuster and their recent financial statement looks like that of a homemaker trying to run her own photography company. It just doesn’t make any sense,” he said.

The Kumquat caught up with Captain D's owner Bill Jennings to ask just how his company is able to stay in business.

"I don't really know to be honest with you,” he said. “We get about 2 or 3 customers for lunch and dinner time and only gross about 25 to 50 dollars every week, so as far as labor costs go, I have to be efficient. I had to let go all of my staff but since we have so few customers I'm the only employee needed to run the place. I took a pay cut about 6 years ago that included free Captain D's for life, which is nice because it feeds me and my dog back home. But I'm not going to lie, my dog usually turns down the fish for his Sam’s Choice dog food,” said Jennings.

Economist Robert Bergstein says he plans to publish his research in early June.


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